ᴛʜᴇ sᴄᴘ ғᴏᴜɴᴅᴀᴛɪᴏɴ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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scp_30082022-04-08 11:30 am
thescpfoundation) wrote in scp_30082022-04-08 11:30 am
APRIL 2022 SCP DIVERGENCE MEME: ROUND ONE KICKOFF
ᴛʜᴇ sᴄᴘ ғᴏᴜɴᴅᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴍᴇᴍᴇ
a recurring horror-comedy meme with optional continuity
PREMISE
The SCP Foundation is a fictional organization featured in an archive of short horror stories about strange or terrifying places, objects, and creatures. Knowledge of the SCP foundation is not required to enjoy this meme.
SCP Divergence is a meme/TDM/game hybrid, intended to take the best aspects of each and put them together. It will have the consistency of a game, the prompts of a TDM, and the freedom of a meme. There is a fixed setting, but new posts will have updated options and/or a light, optional ongoing plot that you can choose to engage with as much or as little as you want.
This meme is designed to give you the foundation to carry CR over like a typical game if you want to, but it's entirely up to you. Pick and choose your continuity, retcon your characters into the setting, play your hardcore AUs, your doubles, and your location-native OCs. Burn the whole game down in one-off threads and pretend it never happened at next month's luncheon prompt. Participate in the first meme, disappear for six months, and pick back up again as though no time has passed and your character never left. The world is your oyster.
warnings : violence, death, psychological horror
SETTING INFORMATION
Perhaps you were walking through a real Ikea, or skateboarding through the halls of your spaceship. Perhaps you were taking a moonlit stroll through Narnia, or your TARDIS abruptly crash-landed. Maybe you were sleeping, or maybe you died. Whatever the case, where you are is almost certainly not where you were. It very much resembles the interior of your standard Ikea store, until you try to find the exit. No matter how much walking you do, the space seems to stretch on and on. It's believed that SCP-3008 may be infinite, eventually branching off into an endless series of backrooms.
Don't worry (much), you aren't alone. People have been wandering into SCP-3008 and getting lost for decades. New generations have been born here, and have never seen the world outside. Some residents swear their friends or family lived a life outside of SCP-3008, but when questioned these people are convinced they have always lived in this liminal Ikea. Over the course of your search for an exit, you may stumble upon one of the few small settlements formed by these survivors.
Perimeter walls or barriers have been constructed out of repurposed desks or kitchen fixtures. Residences have been crafted out of bedroom furniture displays. Communal showers have been erected by the public restrooms. Markets and inter-settlement trade routes have been established. People barter goods or services in exchange for crafts made from available furniture and resources, or one of the strange objects found during exploration. The Ikea restaurants are regularly restocked with the store's standard menu. Nobody is quite sure how or when, because it only happens when no one is watching. Food and water is (somewhat) regularly replenished, though there have been incidents where weeks have passed without new supplies, leading to rationing, dehydration, starvation, or death. The lights have a timed schedule, creating a rudimentary day/night cycle. It's certainly a less than ideal retirement location, but generally speaking, it's not that bad.
At least, if it weren't for The Staff - also known as SCP-3008-2.
Apart from minor variations, The Staff all look the same: roughly seven feet tall, no discernible face, unsettlingly long limbs, and disproportionately large hands, wearing the traditional Ikea employee uniform. During the day, The Staff are docile and largely unresponsive. They're infrequently sighted meandering through the store, and are only hostile if harmed.
Night is a different story. Once the lights turn off for the evening, The Staff changes. Any D-Class they discover will be immediately engaged upon. They will speak, but only say one thing: t̶h̴e̵ ̷s̸t̶o̵r̶e̷ ̴i̴s̶ ̶n̷o̵w̵ ̷c̵l̵o̵s̶e̶d̷,̶ ̶p̸l̴e̷a̵s̸e̸ ̶e̸x̵i̴t̶ ̷t̸h̷e̵ ̸b̴u̷i̸l̵d̷i̶n̷g̷.
They do not intend to escort anyone to the door. If caught, victims have had limbs maimed or necks snapped in seconds with seemingly little effort. The Staff occasionally cluster in groups, especially when they happen upon a settlement. Survivors are regularly forced to fend off nighttime attacks, and can now generally do so with very few casualties. Any remaining body parts of fallen Staff members must be disposed of promptly. The presence of limbs or corpses tends to lead to higher Staff numbers and increasingly higher aggression the following night.
*hover zalgo text for easier reading
NETWORK USAGE
Cellphone service does not generally extend beyond the walls of SCP-3008. Although D-Class may be able to access the internet, content only seems to flow in rather than out. Personnel have been able to access YouTube & Wikipedia, but attempts to post comments or send messages have failed. For those who may be arriving without phones, cheap prepaid phones can be found in the electronics sections.
Personnel will find that an app has managed to install itself on their phone, tablet, or medieval magic mirror. Inside the app are a series of labelled icons.
D-Class Forum – Allows users to make public, social media style posts available to anyone with the app.
D-Class Directory – Most of the time, the names of survivors stranded in SCP-3008 will show up on this list. There are standard options like calling, texting, group messages, and video chats.
New Personnel Archives – Assumed to have been compiled and maintained by D-Class personnel. It contains basic information about the setting and other typical game mechanics.
SCP Directory – A short list of archive entries that offer details about possible detected, known SCPs within range. Beneath it is a very long, greyed-out list of locked entries that seem to be inaccessible.
Research Submissions – A place for personnel to document new information about SCPs they find to submit to the Foundation.
ANNOUNCEMENT
Once per month the app will alert users of a critical notification. A public post has been made by a user not found in the directory.@THE SCP FOUNDATION
Greetings, new D-Class personnel. We at the Foundation are aware of your current predicament and are doing everything within our power to return you to your point of origin. At this time, rescue attempts have been unsuccessful. Please remain patient as we investigate this issue.
Note that any reports of containment breaches are inaccurate. Rest assured, per the official statement of the O5 Council, the Foundation remains in full control of all previously contained anomalies.
We are aware of new and duplicate anomalies appearing within SCP-3008, and information about these anomalies may prove useful for your rescue. Consequently, temporary D-Class employment status has been applied to all new arrivals. Known details about nearby detected anomalies will be made available in the SCP Directory archives. Any new research and documentation submitted by D-Class personnel will be rewarded via Matter Delivery Pod.
Thank you for your cooperation.
ANOMALIES
THE FOLLOWING SCP ARCHIVES ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO D-CLASS PERSONNEL:
SCP-294 — "THE COFFEE MACHINE"
ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴄʟᴀss: EUCLID
ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟs: Item SCP-294 appears to be a standard coffee vending machine, the only noticeable difference being an entry touchpad with buttons corresponding to an English QWERTY keyboard. Upon depositing fifty cents US currency into the coin slot, the user is prompted to enter the name of any liquid using the touchpad. Upon doing so, a standard 12-ounce paper drinking cup is placed and the liquid indicated is poured.
ɴᴏᴛᴇᴡᴏʀᴛʜʏ ɪɴᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛs: On August 21, 2005, Agent Joseph ██████ attempted to use Item SCP-294 to obtain coffee during his allotted break time at 9:30 AM. at the request of Agent █████ █████████ "to see what it would do", ██████ requested "a cup of Joe" from the item. Moments after confirming the selection, Agent Joseph ██████ began to sweat profusely and complained of dizziness before collapsing. After moving the unconscious agent to the infirmary, the medical team recovered the contents of the cup dispensed by Item SCP-294: a combination of blood, tissue, and other bodily fluids. Testing revealed the DNA sequence of the biological material dispensed by SCP-294 matched that of Agent ██████.
SCP-131 — "EYE PODS"
ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴄʟᴀss: SAFE
ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟs: SCP-131-A and SCP-131-B (affectionately nicknamed the "Eye Pods" by personnel) are a pair of teardrop-shaped creatures roughly 30 cm in height, with a single blue eye in the middle of their bodies. SCP-131-A is burnt orange in color while SCP-131-B is mustard yellow. At the base of each creature is a wheel-like protrusion which allows for locomotion, suggesting that the creatures may be biomechanical in origin. The subjects can move surprisingly fast, covering over 60 m (200 ft) in a matter of seconds. The subjects, however, lack a braking system, which has led to some rather spectacular, if not overly amusing, mishaps involving the creatures.
The subjects seem to have the intelligence of common house cats and are insatiably curious. Most of the time they simply roll around the facility, observing personnel at work and catching peeks at other Safe class SCPs. The subjects seem to be able to communicate with each other via an untranslatable high-pitched babbling. The subjects have never been observed to blink, even in laboratories when the subjects have been videotaped for over 18 consecutive hours.
The subjects seem to respond well to any affection given to them and will quickly bond to the giver of said affection, much in the same way a puppy bonds with a human being. They will follow anyone or anything they've made a bond with anywhere, even into normally restricted areas. Although curious, the subjects can sense danger in their general vicinity, and if the object of their bond begins to approach something they register as dangerous (e.g., Euclid or Keter class objects) they will swarm around their bonded companion's feet (or appropriate extremities) while babbling in a panicked tone, as if to warn them.
SCP-3288 — "THE ARISTOCRATS"
ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴄʟᴀss: KETER
ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟs: SCP-3288 designates a highly predatory species or subspecies of the genus Homo (Homo anthropophagus). SCP-3288 display a number of abnormal characteristics and behaviors that distinguish them from the baseline species. The most common deviations include:
- Acute hyperdontia and macrodontia; an instance of SCP-3288 has teeth approximately six times the size of normal adult teeth with more than sixty teeth unevenly distributed over six distinct rows, requiring jaws much larger than that of baseline humans
- Gross mandibular prognathism
- Fluctuating facial asymmetry
- Dolichostenomelia of the arms; an instance of SCP-3288 commonly has arms more than twice the length of a baseline human of similar height
- Arachnodactyly and polydactyly
- Kyphosis
- Abnormal muscle strength despite having the appearance of severe emaciation
- Albinism
- Superior low-light vision and heterochromia iridum (specifically complete heterochromia); the eyes are notably reflective and their colors range from blue, red, purple, and yellow
- A reliance on both bipedal and quadrupedal locomotion
- Abnormally rapid physical growth and development; this results in a 2 to 3 week gestation period with sexual maturity being reached within 16 to 20 months
- Gottschall-Gärtner syndrome, primarily manifesting on the hands and fingers
- Alopecia universalis
- Acute photophobia; direct exposure to sunlight will result in both physical and psychological damage
- Mental instability primarily characterized by delusions of grandeur and malignant narcissism
- An addiction to human flesh that takes on biological and psychological components
*lesser known medical terminology contains hover-text with a brief description
SCP-504 — "BAD JOKE TOMATOES"
ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴄʟᴀss: SAFE
ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟs:SCP-504 is a species of tomato physically and genetically identical to that of the typical commercially-grown tomato. When a poor attempt at humor is made verbally within human hearing range of SCP-504's tomatoes, they instantly accelerate to a speed of at least 100 miles per hour (approx. 160 kilometers per hour, 45 meters per second) in the direction of the sound's source. SCP-504 tomatoes seem to reach speeds relative to the inciting attempt at humor. Relevant variables seem to include corniness, humor-to-length ratio, and use of puns. Language appears irrelevant.
ᴛᴇsᴛ ʀᴇsᴜʟᴛ ʟᴏɢs:
Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: D-504-1
Spoken: "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamous?"
Result: No change in velocity.
Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: D-504-1
Spoken: "What's an archeologist? Someone whose career is in ruins."
Result: Tomato clocked at 124 mph. Subject suffered a broken nose.
REWARDS
D-Class personnel that explore, research, document, or otherwise assist the Foundation will receive rewards via spontaneously appearing metal tubes of different shapes and sizes called Matter Delivery Pods. These rewards could range from something completely useless to something invaluable – or, very rarely, something dangerous. The latter is often a passive-aggressive punishment for inappropriate behavior or bad submissions. Examples of Matter Delivery rewards:
- a seemingly unbreakable dining fork
- photos of loved ones from home nobody remembers taking
- bottles of prescription painkillers or other substances
- Captain America's shield
- a loaded gun
- live carnivorous squirrels
- Blu-ray copies of Spider-Man 3
- a big red button with no description or instructions
No information on how these rewards are decided upon or produced has been given so far. The Foundation social media account will not respond to inquiries.
RESOURCES & NOTES
It is highly recommended that you tag this post in the same way you would a TDM or game event – with optional prompts in your top level. However, you are welcome to post a blank top level like a standard meme if you prefer.The purpose behind this experimental format is to give players freedom to have fun in any way they like. Please feel free to conform to the setting mechanics as much or as little as suits your threads. Continuity errors can be easily written off as anomalies – your best friend dying or your grand, successful escape could be completely reverted for next round's meme. Ignore it entirely, or allow your characters to experience the psychological horror of being stuck in a supernatural looping limbo.
I am currently accepting feedback on this post. If it contains too much information or too little, if the format was legible and easy to consume, or if you have ideas for alternate mechanics & delivery methods, please leave me a message here. I may not respond to all comments, depending on my availability. New round memes will be posted approximately every month – but this is extremely flexible. Feel free to subscribe to the community to be notified of new posts, which will also be linked on
bakerstreet.Below are some helpful links. It is not necessary for you to read these to begin playing.
| What is the SCP foundation? The SCP Foundation wiki Feedback & issue reporting | Featured SCP & plot suggestions Volunteer to contribute Where did you get the frog? |
(it may have been an rp bucket list item for this character)
[ He's a conservationist from the 21st century, and not a particularly optimistic one. He'd rather avoid any existential crises about his life's work.
At least he's not a cetologist.
Instead of answering Julian's question, he pulls his field notebook from inside his jacket pocket and hands it to him, flipped back to shortly after his arrival. ]
That's everything I've seen since I got here. And probably more on frog and toad populations in Midwestern wetlands than you'll ever need to know.
(Glad I could help!)
[
If they need a frog call to save the Ikea from an angry probe, he knows just who to hunt down.Until then, Julian accepts the offered notebook and starts skimming over the notes. He could appreciate someone with an equal tenacity for research to his own.]
Perhaps, but you'd be surprised how similar one of my patients is to a reptilian humanoid. Who knows? Frog and toad population statistics may come in handy. Since we're trading notes... [Julian unshouldered his medical case and opened it, pulling out the padd, downloaded the file from the tricorder of his scans and brought it up. He held it out to Alex. Most of it, even if he knew what to look for, was jumbled nonsense, but it had a clear reading of life signs that were already large, but steadily kept increasing by the second over the course of the few minutes of the log. This wasn't a small-scale problem. And don't even get him started on the tachyon particles...]
This is quite fascinating, actually. Do you ever publish your research?
no subject
[ There's a touch of levity to his tone, albeit a fairly subdued one. He has to admit, it's a safe assumption to make that most humans from 2018 would be unfamiliar with sapient non-human species. But most people have never spent a morning negotiating with a venomous 8-year-old girl with a penchant for sneaking into the zoo through the alligator enclosure.
It takes him effort not to get lost in the information the scans did provide. The energy readings might not mean anything to him, but he can gather at least some idea of what passes for an ecosystem around here with the atmospheric, heat and life signs. If Alex didn't like his timeline unbroken, Bashir would have to be watching that tricorder.
The question about publication catches him almost off-guard. He unconsciously adjusts his glasses in a momentary stall to weigh how much of the truth he tells. Given the circumstances, the family rules about secrecy can probably be bent. ]
I do, just uh, not under my own name. This, [ he gestures to the earlier, frog-related pages ] will be the work of Dr. Alexander Preston, visiting researcher at the West Columbus Zoo. Once I'm done there, I'll move on to another position with another name. There are... let's say, certain kinds of attention I can't afford to bring on myself or my family.
no subject
[It was said as a joke, but it was honestly taking Julian everything he had not to just let himself 'nerd out' with someone who might find Cardassian physiology just as fascinating as he did. Their unique blend of both reptilian and mammalian features was just the start of Julian's intrigue. Even if they had a rather boring idea of what recreational literature should be.
Well, as long as they're trapped in a pocket dimension, he is willing to share the scanning device, but alas, Starfleet does have rules about technology and altering timelines.
As Alex explains his publication tactics, Julian is even more curious than he was previously. Such secrecy had always been a fascinating topic to him, much to the chagrin of a certain close friend who enjoyed being secretive.]
I didn't know zoological studies could draw dangerous attention that one might want to avoid. [He's not needling for information, of course not. What would give you that idea?]
no subject
Truth be told, finding out the Kardashian family are secretly aliens wouldn't be the strangest thing he's discovered in his life.
There are FOUR designer handbags.The look on his face before he explains looks a lot like a by-the-book Starfleet officer giving very careful thought to where the Prime Directive can be bent, if not broken. ]
In zoological studies, not generally, unless you're working in areas with a lot of black market and poaching activity. But in cryptozoological studies, people wanting to kill me is more common than not. I don't suppose an organization called the Covenant of St. George ever made any history books, did they? Because that would make explaining my life a lot easier, and make me sound a lot less like I'm suffering from a very, very complicated delusion.
[ He doesn't find it likely, but he also can't imagine them giving up their mission of human-superiority-at-any-cost very easily, even with four hundred years of scientific and technological progress. The last four hundred years certainly hadn't changed them very much, other than their usual choice of weaponry. ]
I probably will still sound delusional, actually, just try not to diagnose me with anything until I've had the chance to show you proof. [ He left "proof" back at his base camp, and they're is bound to be... excitable by now. And possibly constructing new religious rites around the cache of tealight candles they'd found. ]
(I feel like I'm always apologising for Julian's... excitement.)
No one would be surprised if they turned out to be aliens.The look on Alex's face only has Julian more interested. Cryptozoological studies immediately sparks the doctor's curiosity. A short shake of Julian's head to the negative on the question about the Covenant of St. George.] But then again, I'm not much of an historian. Terrible at it, actually. [If it's something covert, someone comes to mind, but he wouldn't dare utter that name. Or even associate himself with that name.] Oh! No, of course not! I've learned not to judge. I'm the chief medical officer, not a counsellor. But I am fascinated by this, if you don't mind my curiosity!
[He's not sure he would be aware of such an organisation if it still existed and if it did, it sounds like it is probably something he would wholeheartedly disagree with. Julian has rather simple ideals. If everyone could just learn to get along and work for the betterment of all life, no matter how strange or inorganic, he would be a happy little CMO. Unfortunately, just as Garak keeps trying to tell him, the universe doesn't work that way.
Julian held out the notebook to trade back their notes with a reassuring smile.]
You have my word. Besides, you do seem of perfectly sound mind to me. I will never turn down a chance to learn something new, so proof would be most exciting! [Calm down, Bashir. You're doing that thing where you act like an excited puppy. Their current predicament has been put slightly on hold in his mind, though he was still running through mental calculations based on the data he'd read with the tricorder. There could be thousands of life forms here, not all human and not all friendly. The environmental data had been interesting and it seemed that this place could support a multitude of different life forms. Added to that, the database that had been installed on his PADD upon arrival suggested that there were even stranger life forms than he'd expect... But that was all background noise in his brain.]
(Alex has the same enthusiasm, it's just almost hidden under the tweed, sarcasm and knives)
Alex gives a lot of educational tours and talks to school groups, and Julian is reminding him a bit of the kids who actually want to be there. He has to watch his tone to avoid slipping into the same cadence he uses to explain the lifespan of a tortoise or the importance of snakes in their given ecosystem. ]
As far as I know, the Covenant of St. George have existed since at least the Crusades, if not earlier. They're violent fanatics who wipe out anything and anyone they deem unnatural- which they have a very narrow definition of. They consider themselves monster hunters, the secret, sworn protectors of humanity- and they've driven more species than I can count to extinction or hiding.
[ The lecture tone is easy to ditch when it nearly becomes ranting about how much the Covenant sucks. ]
My ancestors defected from them five generations ago, and we've been trying to make up for our involvement ever since. They're not big fans of our conservation work or the protection we provide to the sapient species they hunt. They consider us not just traitors to their organization, but to all of humanity.
So, at the risk of a bit of an understatement, my upbringing was... unorthodox. But since it was the kind of upbringing that prepared me for things like surviving being lost in an otherworldly IKEA with limited weaponry, I'm mostly counting that as a blessing right now.
(They should get along beautifully!)
Truth be told, Julian probably wouldn't take any kind of offence to the tone. He appreciated the information either way. The word 'unnatural' does have a somewhat knee-jerk affect on him, but he recovers quickly, bringing the smile back though it seems somewhat tight.]
These Covenant don't sound very pleasant at all. I can't believe an organisation like that has been around for so long. [Lightly, under his breath, he might have muttered,] I'm considered unnatural. Suppose they'd consider something like me a detriment to the sanctity of the human race.
[Don't go down this road again, Julian. But then again, he was technically human. Even if the gene resequencing was indeed tampering with his DNA. No, this sounded like something more extreme than just prejudice against Augments. This was far worse. Hunters that try to wipe out other species? What kind of xenophobic genocide crusade was that? They'd probably have a fit if they stepped foot on DS9...]
Your ancestors did the right thing. If anyone is a traitor to humanity, it's their organisation, not you. Preserving life and accepting other species makes you far better and more of a pride to the human race. [Julian is very, very passionate about this, Alex.] What kind of species do you protect? I mean, xeno-physiology has become something of a passion of mine, given my--well, future things. [He's so bad at this Temporal Prime Directive.]
IKEA? Is that what this place is? Unfortunately, I was aboard the station when I accidentally beamed here, so I'm unarmed. I mean, I have a hypospray and a few sedatives, but I'm not sure those could be classified as a weapon in most cases. I do have some very handy healing equipment in case we do encounter hostiles.
no subject
His grandmother might already have Words for him about how much he's willingly shared already. Considering he's not ruling out Grandma Alice showing up here to drag him home with some very firm words about not repeating his grandfather's mistakes.
At least she'd probably be bringing the backpack full of grenades she's so fond of, which he can't help but imagine might come in handy in a place like this. ]
It's a furniture and home goods store. Or for you, it was a furniture store. Largely known for a long and involved maze-like showroom and for furniture you have to assemble yourself at home. There are locations all over the world, and they all look and feel about the same.
If this realm was created intentionally, someone likely wanted to use something familiar to a lot of people. If it wasn't, this could be some kind of... I don't know, manifestation of a collective unconscious?
[ He wonders if the arguments of thousands of couples over home decor is enough to fuel some kind of realm-forming tulpa. ]
Apologies for the delay! It's been a busy weekend!
That sounds... torturous. [Julian couldn't help but spin around slowly to give their surroundings another look. And when did he finish his Tarkalean tea? Oh well. What does he do with this empty paper cup? There's no replicator to recycle it in...] I'll admit, we still assemble our own furniture in the future for the most part, but it doesn't come from a labyrinthine showroom.
Collective unconscious? [The doctor shuddered. He hadn't faced the Borg yet personally, and hopefully never would, but just the word set off alarm bells in his head. The Dominion was enough of a problem for him, thank you.] It could even be a massive simulation. I've been trapped in a few in my time. The safer ones were actually more of a collective unconscious scenario. It's the ones that leave you conscious that are more dangerous.
[On that note, the doctor pulled out his tricorder again, taking a scan of the area to re-evaluate the energy signatures that he was picking up. He didn't recognise anything that gave any signs of being creations of photons and forcefields. This wasn't a holodeck or holosuite. But curiously, the coffee machine was giving off some rather interesting readings...]
This thing... it isn't sentient, per se, but it... doesn't belong.
It's cool, I was catching up on sleep and would've been slow too.
Given that it seems to be catalogued, I have to wonder if this place is being used as some kind of storage facility. And then that makes me wonder if we're supposed to be new hires, or if there's someone waiting to write one of those entries up for us.
Sleep debt sucks something awful! I hope you got all caught up!
But he did wonder about the 'new hires' comment. That message had stated that this Foundation was looking to collect information from them.]
I'm not sure how helpful we will be as new hires given the relatively limited information we have on the situation. Medical research is something I'm quite good at, but my crewmates need their CMO. Why do some feel the need to abduct rather than ask for help?
sorry, bit off more than I could chew and lost track of notifs
Thomas Price, Alex's grandfather, had been pulled into another dimension, leaving his pregnant wife behind. Grandma Alice has been hopping dimensions looking for him (and losing her mind, in most of the family's opinion) ever since.
A small horror begins to dawn on Alex. ]
If anyone back home knows what's happened, someone is almost definitely going to be looking for me. She'll be blonde, petite and really pissed off. [ He honestly just doesn't know if it's going to be Shelby, Grandma Alice, or both. ]
No worries! That happens to me more than I'd like to admit!
I'll keep an eye out for an angry blonde. [The doctor gestured to the comm badge on his chest.] I've configured my communicator to actively broadcast a distress signal on all Starfleet frequencies. Hopefully at least one of us will have some success. If my people show up first I won't stop until we're able to get you, and the others, home.