scp_3008 | APRIL 2022 SCP DIVERGENCE MEME: ROUND ONE KICKOFF

APRIL 2022 SCP DIVERGENCE MEME: ROUND ONE KICKOFF

ᴛʜᴇ sᴄᴘ ғᴏᴜɴᴅᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴍᴇᴍᴇ

a recurring horror-comedy meme with optional continuity 

PREMISE

The SCP Foundation is a fictional organization featured in an archive of short horror stories about strange or terrifying places, objects, and creatures. Knowledge of the SCP foundation is not required to enjoy this meme.

SCP Divergence is a meme/TDM/game hybrid, intended to take the best aspects of each and put them together. It will have the consistency of a game, the prompts of a TDM, and the freedom of a meme. There is a fixed setting, but new posts will have updated options and/or a light, optional ongoing plot that you can choose to engage with as much or as little as you want.

This meme is designed to give you the foundation to carry CR over like a typical game if you want to, but it's entirely up to you. Pick and choose your continuity, retcon your characters into the setting, play your hardcore AUs, your doubles, and your location-native OCs. Burn the whole game down in one-off threads and pretend it never happened at next month's luncheon prompt. Participate in the first meme, disappear for six months, and pick back up again as though no time has passed and your character never left. The world is your oyster.

warnings : violence, death, psychological horror

SETTING INFORMATION

WELCOME TO SCP-3008!
Perhaps you were walking through a real Ikea, or skateboarding through the halls of your spaceship. Perhaps you were taking a moonlit stroll through Narnia, or your TARDIS abruptly crash-landed. Maybe you were sleeping, or maybe you died. Whatever the case, where you are is almost certainly not where you were. It very much resembles the interior of your standard Ikea store, until you try to find the exit. No matter how much walking you do, the space seems to stretch on and on. It's believed that SCP-3008 may be infinite, eventually branching off into an endless series of backrooms.

Don't worry (much), you aren't alone. People have been wandering into SCP-3008 and getting lost for decades. New generations have been born here, and have never seen the world outside. Some residents swear their friends or family lived a life outside of SCP-3008, but when questioned these people are convinced they have always lived in this liminal Ikea. Over the course of your search for an exit, you may stumble upon one of the few small settlements formed by these survivors.

Perimeter walls or barriers have been constructed out of repurposed desks or kitchen fixtures. Residences have been crafted out of bedroom furniture displays. Communal showers have been erected by the public restrooms. Markets and inter-settlement trade routes have been established. People barter goods or services in exchange for crafts made from available furniture and resources, or one of the strange objects found during exploration. The Ikea restaurants are regularly restocked with the store's standard menu. Nobody is quite sure how or when, because it only happens when no one is watching. Food and water is (somewhat) regularly replenished, though there have been incidents where weeks have passed without new supplies, leading to rationing, dehydration, starvation, or death. The lights have a timed schedule, creating a rudimentary day/night cycle. It's certainly a less than ideal retirement location, but generally speaking, it's not that bad.

At least, if it weren't for The Staff - also known as SCP-3008-2.

Apart from minor variations, The Staff all look the same: roughly seven feet tall, no discernible face, unsettlingly long limbs, and disproportionately large hands, wearing the traditional Ikea employee uniform. During the day, The Staff are docile and largely unresponsive. They're infrequently sighted meandering through the store, and are only hostile if harmed.

Night is a different story. Once the lights turn off for the evening, The Staff changes. Any D-Class they discover will be immediately engaged upon. They will speak, but only say one thing: t̶h̴e̵ ̷s̸t̶o̵r̶e̷ ̴i̴s̶ ̶n̷o̵w̵ ̷c̵l̵o̵s̶e̶d̷,̶ ̶p̸l̴e̷a̵s̸e̸ ̶e̸x̵i̴t̶ ̷t̸h̷e̵ ̸b̴u̷i̸l̵d̷i̶n̷g̷.

They do not intend to escort anyone to the door. If caught, victims have had limbs maimed or necks snapped in seconds with seemingly little effort. The Staff occasionally cluster in groups, especially when they happen upon a settlement. Survivors are regularly forced to fend off nighttime attacks, and can now generally do so with very few casualties. Any remaining body parts of fallen Staff members must be disposed of promptly. The presence of limbs or corpses tends to lead to higher Staff numbers and increasingly higher aggression the following night.

*hover zalgo text for easier reading

NETWORK USAGE

Cellphone service does not generally extend beyond the walls of SCP-3008.

Although D-Class may be able to access the internet, content only seems to flow in rather than out. Personnel have been able to access YouTube & Wikipedia, but attempts to post comments or send messages have failed. For those who may be arriving without phones, cheap prepaid phones can be found in the electronics sections.

Personnel will find that an app has managed to install itself on their phone, tablet, or medieval magic mirror. Inside the app are a series of labelled icons.

D-Class Forum – Allows users to make public, social media style posts available to anyone with the app.

D-Class Directory – Most of the time, the names of survivors stranded in SCP-3008 will show up on this list. There are standard options like calling, texting, group messages, and video chats.

New Personnel Archives – Assumed to have been compiled and maintained by D-Class personnel. It contains basic information about the setting and other typical game mechanics.

SCP Directory – A short list of archive entries that offer details about possible detected, known SCPs within range. Beneath it is a very long, greyed-out list of locked entries that seem to be inaccessible.

Research Submissions – A place for personnel to document new information about SCPs they find to submit to the Foundation.

ANNOUNCEMENT

Once per month the app will alert users of a critical notification. A public post has been made by a user not found in the directory.

@THE SCP FOUNDATION
Greetings, new D-Class personnel. We at the Foundation are aware of your current predicament and are doing everything within our power to return you to your point of origin. At this time, rescue attempts have been unsuccessful. Please remain patient as we investigate this issue.

Note that any reports of containment breaches are inaccurate. Rest assured, per the official statement of the O5 Council, the Foundation remains in full control of all previously contained anomalies.

We are aware of new and duplicate anomalies appearing within SCP-3008, and information about these anomalies may prove useful for your rescue. Consequently, temporary D-Class employment status has been applied to all new arrivals. Known details about nearby detected anomalies will be made available in the SCP Directory archives. Any new research and documentation submitted by D-Class personnel will be rewarded via Matter Delivery Pod.

Thank you for your cooperation.

ANOMALIES

THE FOLLOWING SCP ARCHIVES ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO D-CLASS PERSONNEL:

SCP-294 — "THE COFFEE MACHINE"
ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴄʟᴀss: EUCLID
ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟs: Item SCP-294 appears to be a standard coffee vending machine, the only noticeable difference being an entry touchpad with buttons corresponding to an English QWERTY keyboard. Upon depositing fifty cents US currency into the coin slot, the user is prompted to enter the name of any liquid using the touchpad. Upon doing so, a standard 12-ounce paper drinking cup is placed and the liquid indicated is poured.
ɴᴏᴛᴇᴡᴏʀᴛʜʏ ɪɴᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛs: On August 21, 2005, Agent Joseph ██████ attempted to use Item SCP-294 to obtain coffee during his allotted break time at 9:30 AM. at the request of Agent █████ █████████ "to see what it would do", ██████ requested "a cup of Joe" from the item. Moments after confirming the selection, Agent Joseph ██████ began to sweat profusely and complained of dizziness before collapsing. After moving the unconscious agent to the infirmary, the medical team recovered the contents of the cup dispensed by Item SCP-294: a combination of blood, tissue, and other bodily fluids. Testing revealed the DNA sequence of the biological material dispensed by SCP-294 matched that of Agent ██████.

SCP-131 — "EYE PODS"
ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴄʟᴀss: SAFE
ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟs: SCP-131-A and SCP-131-B (affectionately nicknamed the "Eye Pods" by personnel) are a pair of teardrop-shaped creatures roughly 30 cm in height, with a single blue eye in the middle of their bodies. SCP-131-A is burnt orange in color while SCP-131-B is mustard yellow. At the base of each creature is a wheel-like protrusion which allows for locomotion, suggesting that the creatures may be biomechanical in origin. The subjects can move surprisingly fast, covering over 60 m (200 ft) in a matter of seconds. The subjects, however, lack a braking system, which has led to some rather spectacular, if not overly amusing, mishaps involving the creatures.

The subjects seem to have the intelligence of common house cats and are insatiably curious. Most of the time they simply roll around the facility, observing personnel at work and catching peeks at other Safe class SCPs. The subjects seem to be able to communicate with each other via an untranslatable high-pitched babbling. The subjects have never been observed to blink, even in laboratories when the subjects have been videotaped for over 18 consecutive hours.

The subjects seem to respond well to any affection given to them and will quickly bond to the giver of said affection, much in the same way a puppy bonds with a human being. They will follow anyone or anything they've made a bond with anywhere, even into normally restricted areas. Although curious, the subjects can sense danger in their general vicinity, and if the object of their bond begins to approach something they register as dangerous (e.g., Euclid or Keter class objects) they will swarm around their bonded companion's feet (or appropriate extremities) while babbling in a panicked tone, as if to warn them.

SCP-3288 — "THE ARISTOCRATS"
ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴄʟᴀss: KETER
ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟs: SCP-3288 designates a highly predatory species or subspecies of the genus Homo (Homo anthropophagus). SCP-3288 display a number of abnormal characteristics and behaviors that distinguish them from the baseline species. The most common deviations include:

Acute hyperdontia and macrodontia; an instance of SCP-3288 has teeth approximately six times the size of normal adult teeth with more than sixty teeth unevenly distributed over six distinct rows, requiring jaws much larger than that of baseline humans
Gross mandibular prognathism
Fluctuating facial asymmetry
Dolichostenomelia of the arms; an instance of SCP-3288 commonly has arms more than twice the length of a baseline human of similar height
Arachnodactyly and polydactyly
Kyphosis
Abnormal muscle strength despite having the appearance of severe emaciation
Albinism
Superior low-light vision and heterochromia iridum (specifically complete heterochromia); the eyes are notably reflective and their colors range from blue, red, purple, and yellow
A reliance on both bipedal and quadrupedal locomotion
Abnormally rapid physical growth and development; this results in a 2 to 3 week gestation period with sexual maturity being reached within 16 to 20 months
Gottschall-Gärtner syndrome, primarily manifesting on the hands and fingers
Alopecia universalis
Acute photophobia; direct exposure to sunlight will result in both physical and psychological damage
Mental instability primarily characterized by delusions of grandeur and malignant narcissism
An addiction to human flesh that takes on biological and psychological components

ɴᴏᴛᴇᴡᴏʀᴛʜʏ ɪɴᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛs: The Foundation became aware of SCP-3288 while investigating reports of unexplained disappearances in Vienna. It was discovered that these incidents occurred in close proximity to sewer holes and access tunnels and primarily targeted the most vulnerable of the population such as prostitutes, unsupervised children, transients, and inebriated or otherwise indisposed individuals.

*lesser known medical terminology contains hover-text with a brief description

SCP-504 — "BAD JOKE TOMATOES"
ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴄʟᴀss: SAFE
ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟs:SCP-504 is a species of tomato physically and genetically identical to that of the typical commercially-grown tomato. When a poor attempt at humor is made verbally within human hearing range of SCP-504's tomatoes, they instantly accelerate to a speed of at least 100 miles per hour (approx. 160 kilometers per hour, 45 meters per second) in the direction of the sound's source. SCP-504 tomatoes seem to reach speeds relative to the inciting attempt at humor. Relevant variables seem to include corniness, humor-to-length ratio, and use of puns. Language appears irrelevant.
ᴛᴇsᴛ ʀᴇsᴜʟᴛ ʟᴏɢs:
Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: D-504-1
Spoken: "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamous?"
Result: No change in velocity.

Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: D-504-1
Spoken: "What's an archeologist? Someone whose career is in ruins."
Result: Tomato clocked at 124 mph. Subject suffered a broken nose.

REWARDS

D-Class personnel that explore, research, document, or otherwise assist the Foundation will receive rewards via spontaneously appearing metal tubes of different shapes and sizes called Matter Delivery Pods. These rewards could range from something completely useless to something invaluable – or, very rarely, something dangerous. The latter is often a passive-aggressive punishment for inappropriate behavior or bad submissions.
Examples of Matter Delivery rewards:

a seemingly unbreakable dining fork
photos of loved ones from home nobody remembers taking
bottles of prescription painkillers or other substances
Captain America's shield
a loaded gun
live carnivorous squirrels
Blu-ray copies of Spider-Man 3
a big red button with no description or instructions

No information on how these rewards are decided upon or produced has been given so far. The Foundation social media account will not respond to inquiries.

RESOURCES & NOTES

It is highly recommended that you tag this post in the same way you would a TDM or game event – with optional prompts in your top level. However, you are welcome to post a blank top level like a standard meme if you prefer.

The purpose behind this experimental format is to give players freedom to have fun in any way they like. Please feel free to conform to the setting mechanics as much or as little as suits your threads. Continuity errors can be easily written off as anomalies – your best friend dying or your grand, successful escape could be completely reverted for next round's meme. Ignore it entirely, or allow your characters to experience the psychological horror of being stuck in a supernatural looping limbo.

I am currently accepting feedback on this post. If it contains too much information or too little, if the format was legible and easy to consume, or if you have ideas for alternate mechanics & delivery methods, please leave me a message here. I may not respond to all comments, depending on my availability. New round memes will be posted approximately every month – but this is extremely flexible. Feel free to subscribe to the community to be notified of new posts, which will also be linked on

bakerstreet.

Below are some helpful links. It is not necessary for you to read these to begin playing.

What is the SCP foundation?
The SCP Foundation wiki
Feedback & issue reporting

Featured SCP & plot suggestions
Volunteer to contribute
Where did you get the frog?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

feel free to reply to this comment with open public forum posts for anybody to reply to, as if it were a network community

Greetings, new D-Class personnel. We at the Foundation are aware of your current predicament and are doing everything within our power to return you to your point of origin. At this time, rescue attempts have been unsuccessful. Please remain patient as we investigate this issue.

Note that any reports of containment breaches are inaccurate. Rest assured, per the official statement of the O5 Council, the Foundation remains in full control of all previously contained anomalies.

We are aware of new and duplicate anomalies appearing within SCP-3008, and information about these anomalies may prove useful for your rescue. Consequently, temporary D-Class employment status has been applied to all new arrivals. Known details about nearby detected anomalies will be made available in the SCP Directory archives. Any new research and documentation submitted by D-Class personnel will be rewarded via Matter Delivery Pod.

Thank you for your cooperation.

I'm searching for members of the Federal Bureau of Control. I'm aware that we're probably outside of the FBC's usual scope at the moment, but if there are any employees that fell in here, I need them to contact me right now.

Please also be aware that if you encounter anyone in the store floating and chanting in odd sentences, you should get away from them immediately and contact me. I can help with that, at least.

Edited 2022-04-10 01:50 (UTC)

Not an illustrious member of your Federal Bureau of Control. Sounds like a pretty prestigious thing to be part of. Claiming to be an organisation of control. I might be overstepping, but it looks like you might not be as in control as you think you are. Just a hunch.

As for your odd chanting, I mean, I've been known to float around chanting what you people might think are odd sentences. Nonsense, even. But that's just who I am as a

person.

Do these floaty chanty people have anything to do with the lunatics running around the halls demanding we leave because the store is closed? Or are they another fun group of nutters?

D-CLASS FORUM

@THE SCP FOUNDATION

@JesseFaden

@LowkeyUnimpressed

@AarthurJAardvark

@JesseFaden

@themayqueen

@JesseFaden

QUESTIONS

no subject

Julian Bashir | Star Trek: DS9

Arrival

It's Getting Late...

tea time

arcade gannon | fallout: new vegas | ota

Coffee Break

Mayor MacCready | Fallout

no subject

A.

Ganta Igarashi | Deadman Wonderland

a

Jack Townsend | Tales from the Gas Station

Big Red Button

red button

Big Red Button